May, You Be Better

I love commas. One little comma can completely change the whole meaning of a sentence.

Today brings us to the brink of a new month, and here I am trying to be ridiculously optimistic about it. Things can't be as horribly sucky as each proceeding month has been, right? I think this exact same thought every month, every week, shoot every day. And yet...

I'm not looking for sympathy, so much as just trying to understand coping with stress, the unknown, and a never ending (so it feels) string of failure. I'm really trying to learn how to let go. To let go of that stress. To let go of frustration. To let go of anger. To just be. It has been a very tough lesson to get through.

The hardest part of learning to let go, has been trying to find balance between positive and negative. Some days I am charged up with a can-do attitude. I see nothing but the sunny side. Life can always be better. Only to come crashing hard to the desperate realization that nothing is going my way. Yeah, yeah, we're all healthy. Blah, blah - So much to be grateful for. I know this. I do have much to be grateful for, but struggling on a daily basis to make ends meet can really start to grind on you after awhile. It wears you down to a point where picking yourself up to higher ground gets a harder each day you fall down.

Somehow I still do it. Breathe and let go. Try again.

Tomorrow is May. A positive word "may" is too. So my wish for everyone is, may you be happy. May you be well. May you be prosperous. And may I finally find some peace. A new month to look forward and upward to better things that maybe, just maybe, might be right around the corner.


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