Friday, October 14, 2011

Aquarium Dreams

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In recent years, whenever I get stressed out or have high anxiety over one aspect of my life, I dream about aquariums. More accurately, about the care of aquariums. In real life, we have a 55 gallon fish tank in our living room that bubbles along nicely and our fish live long and happy lives. Guests love to stare at our fish, and we enjoy having them as well. However, in my dreams when I see a fish tank I know something is not going to end well.

Often, the scenario is one that is going badly. Fish are jumping out and I can't get them back in the tank quickly enough. Or perhaps, the glass is cracking and I have to somehow save the fish before it's too late. Or maybe the tank is enormous like something from SeaWorld and the care of it is simply too overwhelming.  Either way, it doesn't take a psychiatrist to figure out that when I have aquarium dreams, they represent something in my life that I have no control over and am frustrated by.

I don't want to get too deep on my most recent aquarium dream, but I do know what it represents and I feel like I need to put this out into the world just so that I can finally let it go.  A friend of ours recently hurt Rick's feelings and kind of betrayed my trust and left Rick and I no choice but to cut ties.  It left us in an awkward position where we will lose other friends because we won't be around to explain our sudden absence.  But we can't be around because we'd have to explain things that would be incriminating to the person that wronged us and would basically cause a domino effect of yuckitude that would hurt some of those other friends in the process (his actions, not ours).  We just don't want to be those people.

I know this is all so vague, but bottom line is we lost some very cool friends.  I know the one guy thinks we have over-reacted and it was all just a "joke," but I believe his own pride will never bring forth an apology. Meanwhile, everyone thinks we have gone AWOL for no good reason, and I can't imagine ex-friend has a very nice explanation for it either.  All it would take is just one "I'm sorry" and we'd willingly sweep it all under the rug. But he'll never say it, and it's just a shame all around.

Sorry friends. Sorry fish.

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