The network programmers must have it out for females across the nation because they have been running Rocky marathons tirelessly for months now. I have nothing against Rocky I through IV, or even the newest, Rocky Balboa. BUT when my remote control gets taken hostage to the one and only television in the house for the third time in only a month, well then, Rocky gets a little old.

It's not like the plot lines exactly run deep. Each and every chapter to the Rocky line can be summed up as this: Rocky is a loser nobody believes in. Then somebody tells Rocky what a loser he is, he gets enraged and in turn thinks he's not a loser. Rocky gets it together and beats the snot out of someone and is proud whether he wins or loses. Rocky is no longer a loser...at least until the beginning of the next sequel.

Rocky we get it, you can go the distance. Retire already!

Rick finds great pleasure in subjecting me to these tele-cinematic marathons because he knows that my eye will start to twitch the minute the trumpets blare the beginning notes of the theme. I know nobody has me chained to the couch and often I do get up to find something else to do, but after hours and hours the Rocky theme music creeps into your brain and nestles in like a virus. You find yourself humming along from the other room, it infiltrates your dreams. To make matters worse, Rick has somehow conned Ava into loving Rocky. How a five-year-old princess can like a movie about swollen-faced men pounding on each other is beyond me, but now the two of them are a solid fan force. I get out-voted every time for changing the channel and then I slink off to find something, anything else to do.

So please AMC, NO MORE ROCKY, I'm begging you! And all you other networks take note too because I don't want to see you picking up where AMC left off (I'm looking at you Spike TV).


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