Why Don't We Have Cable?!

It isn't hard for Rick and I to keep track of our important numbers that come in every relationship. How many years together? 4 this July. How old is your daughter? 3 in August. How many years together in your current residence? 3 just last month. If you do the math the picture becomes pretty clear, but hey, it works for us. Very telling pattern aside, take a wild guess for how many years we have had cable for our TV?

Hah Suckers! We don't have cable television and the joke is entirely on us because that leaves us with two whole network channels to entertain us. And in this very moment I wish Howie Mandel would just drive off a cliff and take his lame ass deals with him. However, Rick was sucked in by the flowing cash and the twenty-six heavy laden babes, I mean cases. Meanwhile, I slink off to find something, anything to do other than sit there watching a meaningless show. At least on Who Wants to be a Millionare and Jeopardy the winners earned what they won. For that matter, even contestants on the not so challenging Wheel of Fortune have to put in some brain power to solve the word puzzle. Deal or No Deal is just an overglorified round of Paper, Rock, Scissors and I couldn't be more bored with it.

After having a conversation with a couple who I work with today, I found that the exact same scenario plays out in their home too. He sits enjoying the thrill of the tension and she wanders off to do anything else but watch. Come to think of it, I'm sure that we are both doing that "something else" right now at the very same moment.

Anyone else's households split down the middle? While I threaten that I will splurge once and for all for that cable, my local provider shouldn't hold their breath. They have gored us so badly with the internet bill alone that I'm not going to give them the pleasure of anymore money. Looks like just the two channels for us.

Curse you Howie!


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