Dear Miss Ava,
We need to have a little chat, you and I. Now, I understand that the festivities of the past four days have thrown you off of your schedule just a little bit, but cut me some slack here. I thought that we had both agreed that 9 o’clock was a very reasonable time for you to lay your little head down and go to sleep. Most other parents make their children go to sleep at the very unfun hour of 8 p.m. Don’t you think that we are fairly reasonable parents, letting you stay up for a whole extra hour? Your father and I have discussed this at great length and we feel that we have been more than reasonable.
Which brings me to our current situation. In light of last night’s events, we have decided that your crib is going to be moved to another wall. Leaning over the crib and flipping the lightswitch on three minutes after we shut your door is not a part of our night-night time agreement. This includes the five times afterward as well. Staying up past 11 is unacceptable and we really can’t afford the extra wattage that you are wasting. Don’t get me started on what kind of demon-child the lack of sleep turns you into. As I am sure that your stubbornness will prevail this has forced us to take evasive action with Project: Crib Relocation.
Thank You Kindly,