Thursday, May 12, 2005

Dream Analysis

My dreams are always in surround sound and Technicolor, and usually are quite odd. They don’t make much sense even to me who can be quite backwards and upside down sometimes. However, more often than not I get the general feeling or theme of what my mind comes up with.

I think that my general restlessness has been starting to come into play lately because the other night I dreamed that my friend and I were going to start some sort of business. We weren’t sure what it was going to be, but we knew that we would put my artistic skills to good use, and she would be the manager. The funny thing is, that my actual friend in real life has been trying to get me to do this for quite awhile now. Perhaps this is my brain’s way of saying, “You are ready, young grasshopper.”

I see so many other people doing what they love and being successful at it too, while I sit here miserable in a job that brings me absolutely no fulfillment. I spend the day racing the clock to 5 p.m. while daydreaming of something, anything better. The fear that I will spend a lifetime living without some sort of a passion for what I do is very depressing, and I quickly think that there is definitely something out there that is better. You can see people who have found it, and you want to pick their brains to see if you can find the right equation to success. And I don’t mean success in terms of money, but in the way of finally being content with where you are at in life.

I’m slowly starting to believe that I have something to contribute and the talent to back it, but I’m just so unsure of how to dive in without failing, or even what direction to lunge for that matter. Anyone who knows me, can tell you how much I hate to even think about failure, and yet here I am wondering if maybe diving straight in is what I should do. Hmmm.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a weekend you had.........It is something every parent dreads....the vomiting and ER!! Hope all has calmed down for you now.......It is hard to hear that our great-grandchild was so miserable!
Handling money is a filthy job......can't wait for the fingerprinting technology to become more widespread!!
Take Care

Anonymous said...

the simple fact that you dream in color AND sound (!) confirms that you are a deeply creative person *grin* and there is no doubt you iwll find your place in the world where you are actively engaged with what gives you the most pleasure---- I know this will happen for you! ~bluepoppy

daphne said...

I hate failure too. I'm mildly OCD. So I have to be THE. BEST. EVER! At all times. With a clean house and nicely pressed clothes. But guess what? Life is more fun when you get a bit messy. Go ahead, try something new. You just might have the time of your life. :)