Gives New Meaning to Hardware

People used to tell me that I was mature beyond my age. They obviously did not know me very well. I am, in fact, quite a dork, and these past few years with Rick has only enhanced my juvenile ways. Together, we are quite a pair and often we resort to third-grade humor. Case in point:

A large do-it-yourself hardware called Menard’s has been built a few miles away from our home. I had never heard of them before, but Menard’s is on par with Home Depot and Lowes (which we also have just a couples miles further down the road ). Why we need yet another home improvement mecca is beyond me, but at least this one has provided fodder for our entertainment. If you are not familiar with Menard’s, it is not pronounced like Maynard as I first thought. Instead, the m-e is kind of slurred into the slightly more stressed n-a-r-d-s. Now take your mind down to a potty humor level where another name for boy parts can be found and think about what this sounds like. Don’t make me spell it out for you any clearer than I have already…

Okay, you insisted. The store’s location is on a busy intersection corner on a popular side of town. Traffic is always busy, and at times it can get a little scary trying to get through the light. Hence, our humor; “It can get kind of hairy down by Menard’s.” Childish giggles commence.

“Wait, wait. What about this one, ‘You’ll always get one-on-one service at Menard’s!’” More giggling and snickering.

“No, how about, ‘Down at Menard’s, we’re always open for business!’”

And this is how it goes every single time Rick and I drive by. Yeah sure, mature for my age.


Anonymous said…

I love to read your website. You are an incredible writer. I have your website saved in my favorites and was about to click on a site that I needed for work, but clicked on yours first to get caught up. I've been reading for 1/2 hour! You're a great mom, a hard worker and you're so good for my nephew. Thank you for coming into his life and also for your absolutely wonderful daughter! I miss you guys! It was great to see you a couple of weeks ago.

Love Aunt Bev.
Anonymous said…
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april said…
oh how cute is aunt bev?! i want an aunt bev! can i borrow yours?

anyway, i've decided that i'm going to start calling home depot menards and pronounce it me-NARDS, because, well, why not, and because, well, i'm so damn tired of that place at this point...

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